Eh, so it’s an obvious one. They can’t all be winners. Or in the case of my abortive cartooning career, they can’t any be winners.

“We heard you’re going round calling yourself a Hell’s Angel…”

Alien abductions = funny. Hillbillies = funny. Put them together, and what have you got?

This. You have this.

“We’re a family, son. You abduct one of us, you abduct us all.”

Sometimes you come across something that must have seemed like a good idea inside your head when you had it. Possibly you were dehydrated.

I mean, the vampire’s filling up a car. With… blood? The car looks like a normal car. Is it a vampire, too? Does he not know how cars operate? Is there a lot of blood in those bowsers? How does this even all work?

Drink more, exercise daily, and stay in school, kids. Don’t have ideas like this, m’kay?

Charlie Chaplin was once asked how he could make someone slipping on a banana skin — already a worn-out cliche, even in those early cinematic days — funny. You couldn’t Chaplin opined: the way to do it was to set the slip up, then have your victim step over the skin and fall into an open manhole.

So yeah, this is that, except in Heaven. Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa! (Eh: they can’t all be winners).

The taming-dinosaurs-for-fun-and-profit game Ark, that is, not the lunatic-belief-held-by-people-who-shouldn’t-be-trusted-with-children Ark.

So, from last week’s ultimate in science, to this week’s ultimate in religious tosh. If you’re going to believe this sort of nonsense, then you have to believe all this sort of nonsense. And as it’s all a bunch of badly written fictional nonsense anyway, it makes it easy to play with.

Honestly, given some of the glorious shit we see astronauts get up to in this age of 100% camera immersion, this comes across as unbelievably tame. But I have not a single doubt rattling around my empty skull that some ground control crew somewhere has given in to this temptation when faced with some prima donna space jockey screaming down the comm link at them because the chicken soup nozzle is clogged.

Thumbnail Thursday’s Immutable Law of Comedy Gold: Pandas are funny AF.

You know it.

Given my feelings about organised religion, I have to be honest with you: this is a softball so soft I must have been bathing myself every night in New Yorker ‘wry’ cartoons. I genuinely can’t remember anything about this one, but given how long I must have spent drawing all those little details, it must have been a rip-roaring day at the old day job when I scribbled it out.