Nominations for the Australian SF ‘Ditmar’ Awards are now open. You don’t have to be a member of this year’s National Convention Thylacon to nominate. You may nominate as many works as you wish. Eligible published works must have appeared for the first time in 2004. Please email your nominations to lenehan@our.net.au with the word β€˜Ditmar’ in the subject heading. Nominations will be counted if sent by 1 March. Voting will open on 7 March 2005. Only members (including supporting members) of Thylacon 2005 will be eligible to vote. Consult www.thylacon.com for further information.

For the record, I had the following stories appear in 2004, making them eligible in the Professional Short Story category. No pressure πŸ™‚

Through The Window Merrilee Dances Andromeda Spaceways In-flight Magazine Issue 16, December.
Silk All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories, Wheatland Press, October.
Vortle Encounters, CSFG Publishing, August.
Tales of Nireym Orb Issue 6, June. (Finalist for the Aurealis Award for Best Fantasy Short Story)
The Habit of Dying Peridot Books Volume 24, May.
Letters To Josie Borderlands, Issue 3, April.
Ecdysis Andromeda Spaceways In-flight Magazine issue 11, March.

Likewise I shall not urge anybody who enjoyed The Alternative History Game Show at Swancon 2004 to nominate it for Best Fan Production. And by God, there isn’t a chance I’ll even mention Ticonderoga Online as a possible Best Collected Work nominee. I certainly wouldn’t suggest you go here and read it before you nominate. Perish the thought.

No siree, no pressure here, none at all…

I will, however, urge you to nominate ASIM Issue 11, edited by Luscious Lyn Triffitt, easily the best issue of that particular magazine to come out this year, and IMHO, at all.


Can I sleep now?

That was one seriously hectic week, dudes and dudettes. As most of you will be aware, I didn’t win the Aurealis Award for Best Fantasy Short Story. That honour was shared by Richard Harland and Louise Katz. I did, however, have a blast at the after-ceremony cocktail party, and schmoozed my little arse off.

To cut out the boring bits (actually, there were no boring bits. Even the word games the kids came up with on the bus rides were fun), highlights and lowlights:

LOWLIGHTS: Only 3: 1. Sleeping in a single bed with Luscious. I’m too fat and crippled to be able to do that anymore. Which is a bugger, because I used to like it. Ah well, the wall of our bedroom probably still has a print of my back on it… 2. Losing that goddamn award. Yeah, so I’m a petty, small, vindictive bastard, but I wanted it, and I’m jealous as all buggery that I was beaten to it by a couple of worthless hacks who aren’t fit to lace my drinks… (Richard and Louise are actually bloody talented, and deserved their awards, and as anyone who knows me will tell you I didn’t expect to win it, but you know, they pause just before they read out the names, and you can’t help holding your breath… Anyway, Richard and Louise are thoroughly deserving winners. Now I really have to win the next one…) 3. Having our DVD camera stolen. Luscious talks about this on her blog, so I shan’t go on about what we lost, but it was still a pisser.

HIGHLIGHTS: Too many to mention. The Awards Ceremony, even if I didn’t win anything. The after-ceremony cocktail party. Watching as the three baldest men in SF had their picture taken together- Sean Williams, Rob Hood, and Connor Battersby. I will so be posting that one when I get a copy! Catching up with so many good pals I don’t get the chance to see often enough, such as Donna Hansen, Sean Williams, Rob Hood and Cat Sparks, and especially the truly fabulous Robert Hoge and Kate Eltham, and my co-mutual-admiration-society-president Geoffrey Maloney. Catching up with so many cool people I’d only e-met before, including the likes of Trevor Stafford, Stephen Thompson, Kaaron Warren, the luvverly Kirsten Bishop (who gave me the coolest version of her book The Etched City, complete with corrections in the author’s own hand), the super-luvverly Kim Wilkins, who was this close to stealing Connor and running (much to her partner’s nervousness), and Josephine Pennicott. Hanging out with Ellen Datlow and the room-o’-writers at the seminar the following day. What a scary assemblage of talent that was. I have some work to do: there were a lot of people much higher in the food chain than your humble blatherer, and it was a reminder of just where I stand in the order of things. The museum. The science centre, where I learnt just how fast I can throw a cricket ball (not too shabby, after so long out of the game). The swimming beach. Toscani’s. Listening to Cassie spend almost an entire week trying to pronounce Toscani’s properly. Movieworld. Going backwards down the Scooby-Doo ride, trying not to scream like a girl (I don’t do roller coaster rides), giving up, and screaming my arse off. Listening to my 3 year old daughter cackle like a witch all the way through the Batman thrill ride. Connor puking on Marilyn Monroe. Shopping. Much shopping. Watching Godzilla Vs MechaGodzilla at Rob Hood’s Godzilla panel for Fantastic Queensland’s Summer of Speculative Fiction. Debating with the boys all the way home as to whether Godzilla is a good guy or a bad guy or just a bloody big lizard with cool powers. The delight and excitement on Luscious’ face when she finally found the perfect shoes for our wedding. Catching up with Clarionite pals Shane Jiraiya Cummings and Lily Chrywenstrom. There’s more…

MOVIEWORLD: Okay, so it’s over-priced, and believe it or not, there isn’t as much to do as Adventure World here in Perth. BUT: the kids went mad, and for that alone it was worth the 2 hour wait for a bus after the park closed. Now, I’m not saying I bought into the madness, but given that I hate Scooby-Doo and I don’t do roller coasters, who’s the fat guy with the bald spot in the photo? (The photo, mind you, is how I learned I have a bald spot…). A long, hot, sunburn-filled day that saw us staggering under the weight of merchandising, rolls of film, and with grins like insane tourist types. Which we were πŸ™‚

Quote of the day: “I didn’t tell him to do that so I had an excuse…” Me, trying to pacify the Marilyn Monroe impersonator as I rubbed his vomit off her thigh.

MY SON IS A LUCKY, LUCKY, LITTLE BUGGER: Kim Wilkins, Cat Sparks, Marilyn Monroe, Kate Eltham… I can name about a million fan boys who’d kill for that kind of hugging action.

DID I MENTION THE SHOPPING? Brisbane is much cheaper than Perth when it comes to the important things. Like comics, and books, and all the other crap we came home with. Personal shopping highlights: the $1 packets of Yu-Gi-Oh cards we got for the boys; 2 Hellboy graphic novels that pretty much complete my collection; the Buddy Christ figurine; shoes for both Lyn and Cassie for the wedding; Maus book II (finally!); book 3 of Evan Dorkin’s Hectic Planet series, more books than you can find in my local library, discovering Comics Etc. and Underworld Realm, Lyn’s hot Goth boots (runs off for cold shower, returns. Types more slowly due to shaking hands), The Dead Kennedy’s Frankenchrist and The Cramps’ Look Mom, No Head albums. There’s more…

Told you we did a lot of shopping.


Some titles from the Look Mom, No Head table of contents-

Two Headed Sex Change
Blow Up Your Mind
Bend Over, I’ll Drive
Eyeball In My Martini
Hipsville 29 BC

Any questions?


Sometimes friends go beyond the call of duty for you, and in doing so give you something truly precious. Our Brisbane holiday will be a happy memory for all of us, yet without Robert Hoge and Kate Eltham it would not have happened at all. Robert and Kate are the convenors of Clarion South, and made available the convenor’s apartment so that our entire family had accomodation for free. Without such a kind and generous gesture, we could not have afforded to take our family of 7 on such a trip. Our gratitude knows no bounds. Thank you, Robert and Kate. We’re in your debt.


So I didn’t write while I was in Queensland. So sue me, I was on holiday!

I’ll be doing a lot of work next week to catch up. Promise.


Had the most bizarre moment at the KSP SF group yesterday, bumping into my old housemate, Shelley. I haven’t seen her in something like 12 years, since she gained a teaching qualification and moved to the wastelands up North. She’s looking fabulous, is full of stories to tell, and we had a right old natter before hungry kids and the need to vacate the building sent us back to our cars. I’m looking forward to catching up with her once we get back from Brisbane and re-establishing what was a good friendship.


Tansy got back to me yesterday: she’s buying Blake The God for Issue 23 of ASIM. I told the B-boy, and he was cock-a-hoop. It’ll be out February 2006, so there’s a bit of a wait, but I’ve already told him I’ll get a copy for him.

Three sales in 17 days. I’ll take that as an average πŸ™‚


Well, despite showing Amelie, one of the most delightful movies I’ve ever seen, only the fabulous Splanky showed up to the movie night last night. Ach well, we had a lovely night, and a brilliant conversation with her anyway. We’re in Brisbane next Sunday, and the weekend after that we’ll be at Genghiscon, so it’ll be at least 3 weeks before the next one. Have to see how interested we are by then. To be honest, we only put them on because it means we can catch up with friends who are generally busy every other night of the week, so if it’s not going to happen, well…


Went into Subiaco with Luscious and the kids on Saturday morning and purchased the paper for the wedding invitations. then she took the kids up to her friend’s place in Quinn’s Rock while I came home and kicked about. Managed to get 900 words down on Father Muerte & The Joy of Warfare, taking it to the turn of the last act.

Then attended the first KSP SF group meeting of the year yesterday, and ended up facilitating, which enabled me to run a couple of writing exercises and start two new stories into the bargain, which I’ve titled Mez and Fire Gods on the Jungle Planet.

All in all, a profitable writing weekend.

Words For The Weekend: 1529
Saturday: 963
Sunday: 566
Year Total: 11 155


Just for those who give a damn (only me, possibly). Currently on the Battdesk:

The Terrible & Awful Tragedy of Growing Up Like Peter: line editing
Father Muerte & The Joy of Warfare: 3056 words
The Squire: 1259 words
Mez: 265 words
Fire Gods On The Jungle Planet: 301 words
Nouvelle Hollande: 69 676 words


Went to Adventure World with the kids yesterday. It’s been about 8 years since I’ve been, and there have been a few changes: more rides, everything about twice as expensive, and weirdly enough, the rides I used to love seem slower. I would understand that if I’d been a kid the last time I went, but I was in my mid-twenties…

Anyway, much fun was had by all, and my personal highlight was giving in to Aiden after 4 solid hours asking and going on the ‘Tunnel of Terror’ with him: a water tube with the lights out so the interior is pitch-black, that goes near-vertical for most of the way, with twists, and then dumps your two-person tube into the water with about that much warning.

I laughed my ass off, in between threatening to kill him.

It was a hoot, albeit a hideously expensive one (The better part of $150 just to get in), made all the better by the fact the kids thought they were going to their Uncle & Auntie’s place, and then when it became obvious we were going in the opposite direction, a chick-flick screening at the nearby Uni.

The one thing better than doing cool stuff with the kids is surprising them with it πŸ™‚


Connor rolled over for the first time yesterday. You’d think he cured cancer by the way his ridiculously over-proud parents behaved. Of course, blogging it is in no way over-proud at all πŸ™‚


My Japanese name is 原 Hara (wilderness) 駿 Shun (fast person).


<a href="Take your real Japanese name generator! today!
Created with <a href="Rum and Monkey‘s <a href="Name Generator Generator.


Took the kids to see The Spongebob Squarepants Movie today. Now, the boys and I are big Spongebob fans. It’s silly, it’s funny, it’s weird. You know, like us πŸ™‚

But the movie was awful. Pained, padded, and slow. There might have been enough plot to fill a normal episode, and the lame-ass songs they crammed into the rest of the film with were simply awful. Not even a kack-funny cameo from David Hasselhoff (I should perhaps point this out for those old enough to remember the Hass: deliberately funny) can save it, although you’ll never look at the Hass’s pecs the same way again…

Even three year old Erin, who insists on absolute quiet so she can watch ‘Spongepants’ was bored and restless by the end.



As if the Cyberman fridge magnet and the Madman magnet set weren’t cool enough, this morning I bought myself a Hong Kong Phooey beach towel.

He’s got style, a groovy smile, a bod that just won’t stooooopppppp……


We’ve watched 3 of the movies in the Myazaki collection so far: Princess Mononoke, Porco Rosso, and Grave of The Fireflies. My God, the man is incredible. Such range, such fierce imagination, such an intellect, such humanity. Having already seen Spirited Away and My Neighbour Toturo, I find myself utterly enthralled by the man’s work. I’m hooked. I’m a fan. I have to have more.

Thankfully the kids and Lyn feel the same way. This is one thing I will be eternally grateful to the boys for: after watching some of the most awful movies I’d ever seen at an anime festival 10 or so years ago, I swore I would never watch the stuff again. And then I met a woman with two manga-mad boys, and have watched some of the most wonderful stuff I’ve ever seen since. Jin-Roh, Vampire Hunter D, Cowboy Beebop… and still 8 more Myazaki movies to watch…

So thank you, Aiden and Blake. You’ve enriched my imagination in many ways, but this is one we get to share whenever you want.


From Rich Horton’s review of Aurealis 33/34/35, which you can find here

The best ofthe novelettes was Lee Battersby’s “Father Muerte and the Rain”,definitely one of the “striking” pieces. Father Muerte seems to be the dominant personality in a curious isolated touristy sort of town, where strange things happen and some people live for a long time. One day there is a rain of insubstantial coelacanths — insubstantial to most people, but not to Father Muerte, nor, significantly, to an elderly man who has just arrived.

Wheeeee! January 2005: Lee Loves Being a Writer Month!


The ever-fabulous Tansy Rayner Roberts, who had the good taste to buy Murderworld for issue 23 of ASIM, emailed me this morning to say she’d been gazumped by another editor and the story will be appearing in an earlier issue. No mention of which issue, but I’ll tell you as soon as I know. I do have another story I was planning to send to ASIM this week, which I’ve offered to her. Fingers crossed: it’d be nice to sell 2 stories to the same editor, non? πŸ™‚


A very interrupted writing day today, with visits from friends (Hi Anna!), rambunctious and rampaging kids, dinner to cook, cleaning to perform, fighting kids, punishing fighting kids, business emails to answer, and on and on and keep taking the pills, Battersby…

Consequently, ended up working on a bunch of things. managed to get just over 1000 words done (had to make up for doing nothing yesterday. Ah sue me: I was going down waterslides), as well as line-editing Blake The God ready for sending out.

Tomorrow, Luscious is heading out to her best friends’ place and taking the kids for an afternoon of beachy goodness, leaving me behind to do writer-guy stuff and write our wedding invitations. With any luck I’ll crank out some real numbers, get some stuff into envelopes, and who knows, maybe even line-edit a story or two for the collection, which at the moment is going under the name Lethologica. Gonna have to face that pile sooner or later…

Words For The Day: 1245
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 610
Words on The Squire: 127
Words on Muerte & The Joy of Warfare: 508
Year Total: 9626


Missed out on another 500 yesterday, so sat down this morning with the intention of pushing out 1000 to make up, and… nothing came. None of the projects I’m working on jumped up and demanded to be written, so the only option was to start another story and see what emerged.

What did emerge was 1100 words on something called The Squire, an historical fantasy that will attempt to strip back some of the romanticism plaguing stories about knights and chivalric combat. Or something. Hey, it’s only 1100 words into the first draft and generally I don’t know where stories are heading until they’re nearly finished. Still, i work best when I have a range of projects to focus on, and I certainly have that now.

Words For The Day: 1130
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: nil
Year Total: 8381


Interesting movie. I’ve not read the books, despite having a couple in the house and being quite well aware of what happens within them, so I had few preconceptions going in. And despite a woeful performance from the usually dependable Billy Connolly, it’s a clever, original, and funny movie. Until the last 10 minutes, when the director realises he doesn’t know to end the thing and it all grinds to a soppy and utterly unsatisfying end.

But stick around and watch the end credits. They’re the best I’ve seen in a heck of a while.


From the US publisher who was considering my short story collection:

“Ok. I’ve taken a look and am convinced. Where do I sign on the dotted line?”

I think we can consider it sold πŸ™‚

More details as they are forthcoming, and I expect you all to buy a copy and make me rich…


Missed out on posting my word count on Saturday due to stuff and things and stuff, and I didn’t manage to write yesterday due to massive amounts of stuff and things and stuff, so I’ve had to douuble up today just to keep on track. Thank goodness half the kids are still asleep and the other half decided they wanted to watch cartoons.

Anyway, Saturday-

Words For The Day: 628
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: nil
Year Total: 5852

and today-

Words For The Day: 1399
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 1399
Year Total: 7251

I finished my word count today by writing the first line of the final battle, so there’s a distinct possibility it might be finished by the end of February. Woot!


Is still a brilliant movie, and partway through watching it last night I realised why I love it so much. It’s a movie that treats knowledge and books with veneration. And in a world of Adam Sandler movies, that’s getting more of a treasure all the time.


Over the last 2 days we played host to: Lyn’s mother and stepfather for most of Saturday; My brother’s brood; and the Sunday Night movie crew; a total of 17 people crammed into our teensy house as well as the 7 of us.

I’m visitored out…

it was great to get Sunday nights up and running again, though. Dinner was fab, the conversation was fun and funny, and we have actual video footage to prove that Martin and Isobel came! Next weekend I’ll hunt up a copy of Cronos, or failing that, the utterly delightful Amelie.


Okay, so it was funny enough when Erin kept referring to my cyberman keyring as “Daddy’s snowman”. And we eventually got her as far as ‘soberman’, which was even funnier.

But I don’t know how many explanations there are for Luscious referring to Mark Phillipousis’ groin injury as his ‘groin industry’……


Just found out that both Frank Kelly Freas and Will Eisner have died in the past week.

Both men have been artistic heroes of mine over the years, and my world is a little sadder for their leaving it. At least I was lucky enough to meet Freas a couple of years ago, get an autograph, and let him know how much of an influence his work has been on my imagination.

Damn it, all my heroes are dying.


The kids are home πŸ™‚ Bring on 3 weeks of seriously fun stuff.


551 words just finished, after a very long and hectic day. The Terrible and Awful Tragedy of Growing Up Like Peter is finished, at a somewhat brief 1337 words, which I expect to get even shorter during the editing process. But it’s nice and nasty, and doesn’t outstay its welcome, so I’m quite pleased to get the first story of the year done so early.

Words For The Day: 551
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: nil
Year Total: 5224


2 stories sent out in the last 2 days: Father Muerte & The Flesh to Aurealis, and my ‘too odd for Weird Tales’ story to Asimov’s. Fingers crossed.


True to my goal of concentrating on the novel in the first part of the year, I sat down today and wrote the first 900+ words of the next Father Muerte short story, Father Muerte & The Joy of Warfare.

I’d be annoyed if I wasn’t so pleased. 1 novel, 2 new short stories, 15-odd line edits… it’s just like old times.

Words For The Day: 984
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: nil
Year Total: 4673


Lyn had a rotten night with the baby last night, so I looked after him all day today while she had a sleep, went to the gym, and basically allowed herself the first ‘me day’ she’s had in God knows how long. I was so pleased to be able to take the load of her, even for just one day. She came in at the end of the day looking so much better than she had when she awoke this morning.

And to thank me for it, she presented me with a bottle of Irn Bru and a bag of choc-covered licorice pieces.

Yum πŸ™‚


Rejoined the library this afternoon, amongst getting a whole bunch of craft stuff to do with the kids (They arrive tomorrow. Can’t wait!)

Wish I’d remembered the $23 fine I’d racked up before I moved to Morley…


What a wonderful, tragic, and heartbreaking movie this is. After our recent adventures in awfulness (with the exception of the delightful The Incredibles, which we can hardly accuse of being a highbrow movie), it was such a refreshing change to watch an adult film, with breathtaking performances all round, and come away genuinely moved by something that goes just a little way beyond the normal flix-fodder Hoyts dish up. Johnny Depp puts in a truly majestic performance, only challenged by Julie Christie doing the best work she’s done in years. If you had no plans to see this, change your mind, and if you have wanted to see it, make time soon. This is too intelligent and articulate a movie to last long in Australian cinemas.


I don’t normally comment on rejections, because it’s generally unprofessional, and all you can do is bitch which serves no purpose other than to cement your reputation as a prima donna BUT:

Sometimes I get one that tickles me just a little bit. Like the one I received today. I received a rejection from Weird Tales (a market I desperately want to crack for a number of personal reasons) because it was “too odd”.

You have to reckon that if you can be too odd for a magazine with a name like Weird Tales, you’re doing something right πŸ™‚

Apart from selling the thing, of course…


Came home from the movie with something dark and nasty floating around in the back of my skull. Turns out it’s a story called The Terrible and Awful Tragedy of Growing Up Like Peter, and it’s really not very pleasant indeed. Still, I managed to bank almost 800 words of the thing this afternoon while Luscious looked after Connor, and a new story is always a good sign that I’m about to enter a productive period. I’ve also worked out what happens in the next Father Muerte story, which will be called Father Muerte & the Joy of Warfare, so providing I can find the time, I should be well on the way to getting through my yearly goals in the next few weeks.

Words For The Day: 785
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: nil
Year Total: 3689


Good news in the inbox this morning. ASIM have bought one of my KSP residency stories, Murderworld, for issue 23. Don’t hold your breath: it won’t be out until February next year πŸ™‚ But 2 sales in 4 days bodes well for my goal of selling 10 stories this year.


Fun last night when our inability to be stuffed cooking a clever dinner for ourselves ended in an inpromptu BBQ dinner party for Chesh, Calli, Ju & Kaneda. Unplanned events are often the best, and this was no exception.

DAYS 3 and 4

Two good days: got a fair bit of writing in, and have Father Muerte & The Flesh all but finished. Tomorrow I’ll input the final changes and get it in an envelope, huzzah, which will leave me only about 15 stories in my back catalogue to work on…

Funny how setting realistic daily targets makes you feel prolific. I’ve done just under 3000 words in 4 days, and it’s much more satisfying than if I’d banged out 3000 on day one and sat around for the next three. Lyn has set the same 500 word per day target, and has almost finished a completely new short story. Given the burden she has with the baby, I’m just awed and impressed by her ability to clear her mind and concentrate on writing.

The human mind is a funny thing, although in my case I think the laughter is ever so slightly hysterical…

Day 3 Stats:
Words For The Day: 841
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 841
Year Total: 2104

Day 4 stats:
Words For The Day: 800
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 800
Year Total: 2904


Recent arrivals to Triffbatt House: the latest copies of Aurealis and Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, both containing work by your humble correspondent. ASIM #16 contains both a story, my anti-fantasy Through The Window Merrilee Dances, and a poem, Eight For Working, while the massive last-issue-by-the-fabbo-Keith-Stevenson biffo Triple issue Aurealis #33/34/35 contains the second Father Muerte story, Father Muerte & The Rain, which scored the cover! My first cover: small woohoo and waving of flag. Go to the websites, buy the issues, make us all rich.

And keep an eye out for ASIM #17, which will contain Luscious’ story The Memory of Breathing. If you’ve not read Lyn’s work before (Check out ASIM #7, or the Antipodean SF archives), you’re in for a treat, and if you have, well you haven’t read anything from her like this. It’s going to hurt your brain, I tells ‘ee!


Sold my first story of the year this morning. Gunslinger will be appearing in the Prime Books anthology The Devil in Brisbane, which should be appearing in September. I’ll let you know…


Many thanks and peck on the cheeks to Kirsty Brooks at Driftwood Manuscripts, who sent us a lovely card and bath book to commemorate Connor’s birth. I’m still struggling with some of the bigger words, but the pictures are great!

A big wet smooch and awwww to the crew at ASIM, also, who have presented Luscious and I with a beautiful card and ultra-fab stuffed dragon , as well as printing a congratulatory message in the latest issue of the mag. It’s a really lovely thought, guys. We’re touched.

I might even let Connor play with the dragon one day. If I get bored with it… you know… maybe…


Day 2! Another rather difficult one, what with Connor still unsettled, and much stuff having to be done. Still, I managed to press arse against seat and bash out a few words while Lyn took Erin and Connor for a play down the park this afternoon. Sigh. It’s not exactly KSP residency speed though, is it? Ah well, Erin’s back at daycare during the week and we can take half days about with the baby to let the other write. (Luscious is currently behind me on the laptop, pecking away while the toothpicks bite deeper and deeper into her eyelids)

Words For The Day: 651
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 651
Year Total: 1263


Was just that. What a lot of fun: Marvel Comics done properly, with all the gosh-wow-sense-of-wonder intact plus a dark edge underpinning the humour that gave the movie zome real zing. Its top of the DVD shopping list for 2005. Unlike…


We pushed our luck: cocky after taking the baby into The Incredibles and getting away without any hassles, we followed up the next day by seeing Team America: World Police.

I wish I had a vacuum cleaner that sucks this much.

This is a seriously awful movie, simplistic, moronic, and with what little humour remains in South Park thrown out in favour of a simple repetition of ‘fuck’ whenever possible. It simply isn’t funny, whether you do it with puppets, or cutouts, or humans. Humour must have a base of intent, and apart from making silly-accent jokes about Asians and playing hump games with naked puppets (you know, like the rest of grew out of by about 10, if we were late developers…), the lack of invention, imagination, and frankly, talent, becomes apparent all too quickly.

I’ve now seen 4 Parker/Stone movies, and have loathed 3 of them. I have no choice but to add them to the Frankenheimer/Petersen memorial ‘Directors To Avoid At All Costs’ list.


Thanks to PRK and Torrie for throwing a much fun bash. Luscious and I really enjoyed the chance to get out and be with our friends, and we had a great time.


Day One of the 2005 goal period went well enough. Got my 500 words in, sent two enquiry letters to markets that have had stories for too long, and got a line edit in on Father Muerte & The Flesh, which should be ready to send within the next day or two. So, onto the word counter:

Words For The Day: 612
Words on Nouvelle Hollande: 612
Year Total: 612

Hmm, I’m expecting that to get a little more varied as time passes…


Shall be held next Sunday, the 9th of January. It’s the same deal as last year- bring a plate for a pot luck dinner. The theme for the first part of the year is Actually Decent Movies For a Change. Email me for address details if you want to come along.


Connor has been a monster all night, waking up on average about every 45 minutes to scream and carry on. Right now, Lyn’s tired, depressed, and doubting her abilities as a mother, and unaware that Connor’s gone to sleep while she has a shower to try and freshen up.

Which is a good point for me to tell her what a brilliant mother I think she is and how much I love her. which may be horribly soppy, but she’s always the first person to read my blog, so she’ll get this before any of you πŸ™‚