IRON MAN IS NOT A SEX TOY

Yes, only one of the inspiring and, frankly, disturbing, items of information to come up on Saturday, as we played host to some of WA’s, if not finest, then certainly rowdiest SF friends. A lunch date featuring Tehani Wessely and kids, Terri Sellen and family, Stephen Dedman, Elaine Kemp, Martin Livings, Dr Izz, Alisa Krasnostein, Angela Challis, and Shane Jirayia Cummings: well, what did we expect? 🙂

Our first guests arrived around 11.30am-ish, and the last rolled out at 1am the following morning. It was that kind of lunch, and we had an absolute blast the whole time. For some reason, Eastern States’ SF folk get together all the time, whereas Western SF writers don;t seem to (or, you know, just don’t invite us…). The weather’s turning fine, our backyard is big enough to hold the children of many families (including the weird doppelganger kiddie who lives next door and freaked out many of us there, not least Tehani, whose daughter Gwen is the dopplegangee…)– we’ll be doing it again.

And to give you an idea of the sort of things that get covered when the (allegedly) finest SF minds in WA get together, a smattering—

  • When a bed is that close to the ceiling, all sex is experimental.
  • There’s a fine line between footsies and rough sex.
  • Aaron Eckhart’s jaw: like Dib’s head, why is it so biiiiig?
  • If fortnightly sex is in the diary, well, what can you do?
  • Oh God, Battersby children really do play those sort of games. The blogs aren’t exaggerating! (Lifesize doll, dragged around by her tied-together feet, Erin deciding who is and isn’t a zombie. That’s all I’m saying)
  • Come to Christmas Island: we’ve got guano and jumping crabs!
  • Black, Issue 2: look for the surprise book spine.
  • Oh, and the writer’s names spelled out in acrostics.
  • Grasshopper pie: alcohol and fake grasshoppers. Look for them in your local Coles.
  • All the chocolate covered jelly snakes have gone. Back to Ireland. Won’t they be surprised?
  • It’s a suit of high grade metal polymer carrying the latest in space-age technology, repulser rays, and flight rockets, not a dolly.
  • Seriously, what’s with Aaron Eckhart’s fucking jaw?
  • And if you are going to use Iron Man as a sex toy, take the visor off first…..

Too. Much. Fun. Roll on spring so we can do it again.

 

OH GOD, HOW MUCH DO I LOVE FOXTEL?

Sunday night, thanks to Fox Sports Some Channel or Other, for the first time in several seasons, guess what I got to do?

That’s right: actually watch Forest play!

I may have had a sportsgasm. I won’t try to deny it.

The first game of the new season, the first time we’ve been promoted in almost a decade, and thanks to Fox’s one-game-a-week coverage of the Championship, I got to see the boys in red take on the 2nd-level might of newly-relegated Reading. And what a fist they made of it, too: despite injuries to 4 of the 5 strikers in the squad, and bookies odds that had us marginally better value than the return of Jesus, we ran, harried, held and passed our way to a well-earned draw with a team mooted as one of the very heavy guns of the division. What’s more, we did it with style: I had expected lump-it-and-chase football, but we kept it on the ground, maintained possession (over 70% of possession, by game’s end), and apart from one magnificent save from keeper Paul Smith, held our much more fancied opponents to a game of desperate lunges and hopeful shots. Survival football is one thing. Stylish, European ball play is a much finer one, and we played football.

Robert Earnshaw, on whom I had bestowed grave doubts, was a dynamo up front, his constant movement and darting runs a genuine disturbance to the giant Reading centre backs, and young Frenchman Guy Moussi is already looking like the find of the season: if he maintains that kind of imperious form, what chance a Premiership approach come January? Quick message to all Prem teams: fuck off. Young Lewis McGugan was a constant threat, involved in everything until a silly booking…. for a team with all but two players under the age of twenty five, we played with poise and steel, and that as much as anything gives me hope for the long season ahead.

Do I sound excited? Am I babbling? Do I resemble a sad fanboy finally getting to bask in some sunshine?

Picture my happy face 🙂

Swansea next, and on the form we displayed on Sunday, don’t discount us having three points in the bag by game’s end. Come oooooon, you Reeeeddddsss!

MORE ON THE KSP SF DAY

Since I last spoke, a whole slew of primo panellists have been confirmed for the KSP SF Minicon on the 21st September.

Confirmed panelists, apart from myself and Luscious, include Adrian Bedford, Janet Blagg, Hal Colebatch, Stephen Dedman, Russell B Farr, Simon Haynes, Elaine Kemp, Alisa Krasnostein, Martin Livings, Dave Luckett, Ian Nichols, John Parker, and Tehani Wessely. That’s at least as good a line-up as Gladiators, and has a distinct advantage in that none of us will wear spangly lycra. Except for maybe Rusty. Which will make a nice change from an Hawaiian shirt 🙂

The one-day mini-con, which starts at 10.00am, will be held at the Katharine Susannah Prichard Writers’ Centre, Old York Road, Greenmount,Perth. Gold coin admission, lunch available. Join usssss….