WARM NOT YOUR HEAD WATER MICROWAVE UNIT INTERNAL

As is my wont, I occasionally purchase items of a useful and pleasing nature. You know, like Lyn >:)

And, like Lyn, the instructions are sometimes a little on the, shall we say, interpretive dance level.

However.

Yesterday, oh, yesterday my friends, we reached a level of English-as-a-guideline-only-ness that even Samuel Goldwyn would have viewed with pride. I don’t know what it’ll be yet, but I’m bound to have something cool kicking about the house I can give away as a prize for the first person who can tell me what these instructions relate to. It’s a personal item, and it’s blue. That’s all the hint you get 🙂

ON THE SUBJECT OF COFFEE WITH FRIENDS

A big hulloo to Michelle & Adrian Bedford, with whom we shared a happy and enjoyable couple of hours yesterday talking about everything from novels to paleontology geekery to airliner geekery to finding the benefits of driving through Kwinana at 10pm on a Friday night, all in the warm and friendly confines of that coffee house of note– Toddler Town playgym in Morley.

It’s been too long since we sat and chatted with two of our favourite people in such a relaxed and enjoyable manner.

SHE’S JUST A LITTLE TEASE (SHE’S A FEMME FATALE)

Marriage to my darling wife has countless charming and wonderful aspects. One of the funniest, thanks to umpteen years spent as member of a religious order that frowns upon many aspects of modern living, is discovering just how many sections of popular culture she hasn’t experienced. The sentence “You haven’t seen (insert movie here)?” in an incredulous tone, is a standing joke these days (Alien? Really? Predator? Really? Inside Seka? Really?).

The flip side to that is watching as she discovers something wonderful that she’s missed along the way, some popular icon or form that has passed by her radar while she’s been focussed upon doing the right thing by her beliefs. Kurt Vonnegut, Phil Dick, a tolerance of punk music….

Yesterday, driving out to coffee with friends, I turned to say something to her and found her with her eyes rimmed by tears. She had discovered the Velvet Underground 🙂

NEW HEAD

I turn 38 next month. I started wearing glasses when I was 11, after my teacher noticed me leaning forward and squinting to see words written on the blackboard, even though I sat in the front row. For all of those years, with slight changes for fashion, I’ve worn essentially the same style of glasses- simple, rounded frames, with a decent amount of lens below and outside the eyes for peripheral vision. The last time I replaced them, the optometrist called me old fashioned. This, I assumed, was her attempt at customer service.

This week, however, I replaced my scratched, wobbly and ailing visual aids, and discovered that the style I have worn for 27 years is no longer available. They don’t make ’em no more. Now that’s old fashioned. I had to strike out into new ocular territory. Suddenly, half an hour was added to my shopping trip. I had to actually look at what was on the shelves.
If I can quote Randy ‘Macho man’ Savage, and I think I can: Oooooh, trep-iDATIOUS is the word.
Anyway, down below is a picture of the pair that Lyn and the optometrist decided suits me best: half-frame sort of trapezoidy lensed in a couple of shades of dark grey. A new pair of glasses changes the look of your face- it covers different areas, highlights others. People tend to see the glasses rather than the general layout of the face behind them. A new style of glasses does the same, only more so. I knew I was overweight (I mean, duh), but to me, this pair shows up just how fat my face is. There’s less to hide behind, more left open. A new style of glasses, and it’s changed the nature of my face, and that’s an odd feeling. Erin is convinced that my eyebrows are darker, for example. But they’re a permanent fixture now: lighter than my old pair, stronger, and much clearer. That alone is an improvement
Now all I need to do is lose 50 kilos from my head……

Now you see why Michael T Weiss is so upset…