NEW HEAD

I turn 38 next month. I started wearing glasses when I was 11, after my teacher noticed me leaning forward and squinting to see words written on the blackboard, even though I sat in the front row. For all of those years, with slight changes for fashion, I’ve worn essentially the same style of glasses- simple, rounded frames, with a decent amount of lens below and outside the eyes for peripheral vision. The last time I replaced them, the optometrist called me old fashioned. This, I assumed, was her attempt at customer service.

This week, however, I replaced my scratched, wobbly and ailing visual aids, and discovered that the style I have worn for 27 years is no longer available. They don’t make ’em no more. Now that’s old fashioned. I had to strike out into new ocular territory. Suddenly, half an hour was added to my shopping trip. I had to actually look at what was on the shelves.
If I can quote Randy ‘Macho man’ Savage, and I think I can: Oooooh, trep-iDATIOUS is the word.
Anyway, down below is a picture of the pair that Lyn and the optometrist decided suits me best: half-frame sort of trapezoidy lensed in a couple of shades of dark grey. A new pair of glasses changes the look of your face- it covers different areas, highlights others. People tend to see the glasses rather than the general layout of the face behind them. A new style of glasses does the same, only more so. I knew I was overweight (I mean, duh), but to me, this pair shows up just how fat my face is. There’s less to hide behind, more left open. A new style of glasses, and it’s changed the nature of my face, and that’s an odd feeling. Erin is convinced that my eyebrows are darker, for example. But they’re a permanent fixture now: lighter than my old pair, stronger, and much clearer. That alone is an improvement
Now all I need to do is lose 50 kilos from my head……

Now you see why Michael T Weiss is so upset…

12 thoughts on “NEW HEAD

  1. I can identify. It seems like every time I’ve bought new glasses since I was fifteen, the style I’ve owned has been relegated to the no-longer-produced column. It always takes a while to get used to the strange new mirror person.Co-incidentally, I also need to lose fifty kilos from my head ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. Very noice Lee.Know what you mean on changing the glasses. It changes how people look at you (they give that puzzled “what's different” 10 yard stare).I only started wearing mine when I hit 20 & realised I couldn't see the bus coming ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I hated my wedding photos with my glasses on. Just as I met my other half I changed to frame-less types. Not due to fashion but due to wanting the absolute lightest & not touching my face in BrisVegas heat reasoning. They've been great but boy did I get comments (cause no hiding behind them).I think I could lose 100kg off my head all on my own…….

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  3. Yay on the new glasses thing. While I was putting together a photo slideshow for Conflux, it came to my attention just how much those old glasses of yours didn’t suit you. The new ones are a big improvement. Of course, its gonna be a drag having hordes of semi-naked women chasing you down the street every time you leave the house, but I expect you’ll get used to it over time.

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  4. Well, that confirms it: I am now officially the only person in the <>world<> who didn’t hate my old glasses. Sigh.<>its gonna be a drag having hordes of semi-naked women chasing you down the street every time you leave the house, but I expect you’ll get used to it over time<>Oh, I have ๐Ÿ™‚

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