HOW TO LOSE FANS AND IRRITATE MOVIE GOERS

So Lyn and I got out to see a flick today. And because we’re Simon Pegg fans, not to mention Jeff Bridges fans, the choice was obvious.

My word, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is a disappointing movie. There came a point, somewhere towards the inevitable turning-the-plot-for-home moment, when I actually thought “God, I remember when Simon Pegg was funny.” I know this movie is based on a biography. I know that what I was watching was, by and large, supposed to be based on real events. But gawd all bloody mighty, did it have to be so obvious? So thuddingly unoriginal? When I know the outcome of each scene, each character arc, each subplot, before the setup of each damn thing even gets underway…… and it was billed as a comedy, it was promoted as a comedy, it said ‘funny’ on the posters…. It isn’t. It just really, really isn’t.

Simon Pegg and Jeff Bridges are both excellent actors, but watching this movie, you wouldn’t know it. Okay, so Bridges paid his rent in Iron Man. I wasn’t expecting Shakespeare. And okay, Pegg did a director mate a favour and plodded his way through the utterly second rate Run, Fatboy Run. But what’s their excuse for this one? Add Kirsten Dunst, who extends her ouvre as an actress of no special interest whatsoever, and the whole thing felt like what my mother used to call a Tuesday Movie– Tuesday afternoons, half-price for pensioners, beats being at home but not by much.

In all honesty, I got more laughs from the trailer for Four Holidays, And that’s a Vince Vaughan movie……

HOW TO ENJOY A CHILD-FREE WEEKEND PART 1

  1. Stay up until midnight the night before
  2. Sleep in
  3. Mooch about
  4. Go out for a pancake breakfast and end up having a doughnut instead
  5. Write
  6. Go to the markets
  7. Buy fruit without slapping the hand of a single person under (or over) the age of seven
  8. Eat take away for lunch
  9. Watch an unintentionally humorous documentary about the link between death metal and Satanism (Um, ‘Necrobutcher’? If the Dark Lord really is all-powerful, couldn’t he have done something about your receding hairline? And, you know, given you a chin?)
  10. Write
  11. Go to the cinema and watch a flick in the middle of the day
  12. Write*
  13. Potter about in the garden until dark
  14. Eat pizza, cheesecake and beer for dinner
  15. Watch cheesy documentary about vampires without single interruption for hugs, nightmares, toilet visits, or drinks of water
  16. Blog
  17. Bed

*3074 words, since you ask…

THE STORY WITH NO NAME CONTINUES

As mentioned earlier, I’ve just finished penning my contribution to Nameless, the fab and groovy contest Horrorscope are running, based around a Narrative Corpse– a serial short story written by several different people. My bit has just been posted here.

And you can see the full thing going on here. Scroll down the bottom and have a look at the prizes– they’re shit hot, and were it not for being on the contributor list, I’d be entering and beating you all to them.

Next up is one Battersby, Lyn. Couldn’t you just die waiting to find out where she takes it? 🙂