AUREALIS 2009

Well, the backslapper’s ball part of the evening is over, and all the attendees are doubtless gathered together to celebrate the true meaning of the Aurealis Awards: a large group of well-dressed writers and friends getting pissed as rats 🙂

A hearty congratulations to all the winners. I genuinely think it was one of the strongest fields I’ve seen in years, and for myself, I have not one batted eyelid at losing to Kirtsyn McDermott, who would be a worthy winner in any lineup. A particularly happy slap on the back to my very good friend Adrian Bedford, who was undoubtedly shocked, flustered and disbelieving, but deserves every accolade he picks up. I’m proud of ya, buddy.

For those who have a need to know, the full list of winners:

  • Peter McNamara Convenors’ Award for Excellence: Jack Dann
  • Best Science Fiction Novel: K A Bedford, Time Machines Repaired While-U-Wait
  • Best Science Fiction Short Story: Simon Brown, The Empire
  • Best Fantasy Novel: Alison Goodman, The Two Pearls of Wisdom
  • Best Fantasy Short Story: Cat Sparks, Sammarynda Deep
  • Best Horror Novel: John Harwood, The Seance
  • Best Horror Short Story: Kirstyn McDermott, Painlessness
  • Anthology: Jonathan Strahan (ed), The Starry Rift
  • Collection: Sean Williams and Russell B. Farr (ed), Magic Dirt
  • Young adult novel: Melina Marchetta, Finnikin of the Rock
  • Young Adult Short Story: Trent Jamieson, Cracks
  • Illustrated book: Shaun Tan, Tales from Outer Suburbia
  • Children’s novel: Emily Rodda, The Wizard of Rondo
  • Children’s fiction illustrated work/picture book: Richard Harland & Laura Peterson, The Wolf Kingdom Series

MENTOR ME, BABY!

Would you like to lie prostrate while Lyn or I stand over you, a snarl on our face, lashing your exposed genitals with a shark toothed-tip cat-o-nine tails while you beg for mercy knowing no amount of humiliation will be enough?

Well you can’t, because that makes you a sad, weird little pervy and you should be locked up and spanked with wet lettuce leaves except you’d probably enjoy it, wouldn’t you, you disgusting little weirdo? Besides, I have a high speed connection, so why do I need to go to all that effort when I can just watch it for… ahem. Aaaaanyway….

What you could do, instead, is sign up for the 2009 AHWA mentorship programme, and nominate one of us as your mentor. Which is just like the whole lying prostrate thing, but without having to explain the lash marks to your partner afterwards….. less mopping up, don’t have to wash the floor, it’s better for everyone, really.

Submissions to the programme run from the 1st to the 28th of February, so get to it, bitch!