The world is in danger. The skies are filled with enemies. If this was the 19th century, HG Wells and Richard Burton would kick some serious arse, using only the medium of tiny little germs and a great big rock and roll orchestra.

But these are the medieval times, and Rock Opera is a mere twinkle in Rick Wakeman’s glitter-bedecked ancestor’s eyes. Thankfully, someone cares. Someone is watching. Someone Samurai…… -ey.
This is the Samurai SETI Research Station.

Whilst students confer outside, Samurai Masters ‘Tears Paper Into Strips’ and ‘Wood Sliver Beneath Skin’ ponder the Universe via the Jade Eye of seeing and the Bone Location Wheel. meanwhile, a new student known as ‘Derek’ rests, having journeyed from a land far, far away….

Samurai SETI Research Station. Making the world safe for people who fight in slow motion, and whose lips don’t quite move in synch with their words…


A lot of catching up to do, that’s what.
My problem is, I’ve spent quite a lot of the month setting events up so that other people can reach their word counts. No complaints: it’s my job, and I get paid quite nicely to do it. But my own word count has suffered while I do so.
My default attitude to such setbacks is, well, fairly egocentric: I may not have written (insert correct number) of words, but the ones I have written are saleable. I’d rather have (pathetic total I’ve managed to reach) saleable words than (much larger total I should have reached by now) shit ones. When you’re as good as I am, you don’t need to rush. Just get the job done right. 
I mentioned the egocentric bit, right?
This attitude, of course, works if you’re sure the ones you’ve written will sell. Otherwise, you do kind of come across like the guy who boasts about having umpty million sales without mentioning that you’ve sold half of them to yourself, or that bloke at the other end of the bar with the bomber jacket and doberman pinscher talking about what a stud he is, but his big 4 wheel drive seems suspiciously empty of girlfriend…. 
I, of course, have a magnificent track record when it comes to novels. You’ll remember my stunning debut…. uh…. and of course, who could forget the breakthrough trilogy, The…. ummm… Chronicles? Then of course….. oh, all right.
Back to the word mines.
If anybody sees my doberman pinscher, tell him to come home. I’m lonely, and I don’t like the dark.

So far, so… far.