Are you an opinionated reader who wishes they could tell moron authors how they should write their goddamn books?

Got nothing to fill your evenings between now and the end of February? Looking for a break from bad porn, cheetos, and waking up at midnight covered in cat hair and your own sick?

Wanna have a read of something cool before the unwashed masses get their grubby hands all over it and turn it into some shitty teen movie with a poncey monobrowed git in it so you can act all superior and mumble about how you were into it before it became all popular and commercialised and cheapened and shit?

Then you’ve come to the right place, my friends!

I’m looking for beta readers to road test The Corpse-Rat King and tell me if I’ve missed anything in the couple of slack read throughs I’ve meandered through exhaustive editing process I’ve undertaken so far.

In return for spending your time snuggled up with a MS Word copy of the manuscript you’ll get a thank you in the acknowledgements and I’ll kill off an anagrammatically altered namesake* of you in the sequel. Deal?

First half a dozen or so people to email me get the gig.

* Playing with such things has led me to realise that my darling’s maiden name — Lyn Kiely– makes Nyl Likey, which may set the record for the crappiest Porn name in all creation……