THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD KNACKER ITS ARMS

  1. Reads a magazine article wherein a bloke does 100 push-ups a day to improve his physique, build core resistance, and lose stomach fat.
  2. Thinks, “Hey! I need all those things. I can’t do 100, but I can do five. If I do five lots of five a day, that’s 25. I can get used to that, and build from there. Magic!”
  3. Works out that starting at 6am, three hours apart, can fit five sets in and finish at 6pm.

Today. First attempt.

  • 6am: I can do five push ups!
  • 9am: I can do fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive push uuuuuuupppppsssss…..
  • 12pm: I can do fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiucking hell!

If I just lie here counting carpet threads, I’ll be right where I need to be come 3pm……

FOR THE FINAL TIME

Back to work today, for the final time. All that remains is to count down the things I won’t be doing again: the New Year’s Eve event I won’t be doing again has finished; the Australia Day event I won’t be doing again is ahead; the Symphony Orchestra concert I won’t be doing again happens after I leave.

These are happy days.