The I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Schmatreon Neon Firework Explodiness Patreon launch continues, and today, we bring it all back home to the land of open skies, driving fast, big donks, excessive fuel consumption, and the ride eternal, shiny and chrome: the Air-Cooled, Totally Worked V8 Australovenator, Maaaate.


For $5 a month, you can become forever associated with the most vicious, monstrous,  nastiest reptile the Australian continent has ever seen.



And like the Australovenator that will be your namesake, the power you wield will be the power to control. (‘Cause that’s what they did. Totes. YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU WEREN’T THERE!)

Once a year, I’ll publish a ‘5 for Friday‘ post on the Batthaim website on a subject of your choice, and acknowledge you as the genius behind the whole thing. That’s right: you can choose 5 Sexiest Male Mining Company CEOs, or 5 Helpless Marsupials I’d Most Like to Defenestrate, or 5 One Nation Candidates I’d Most Like to Cuddle, and I won’t even be able to spit in your eye: I’ll have to write it! This sort of power doesn’t come along every day, not even if you paint yourself in cheeto dust and use words like biggly-wiggly.

Plus, as if you’re not already on the verge of going power mad and turning into Sam Neil with a whole head full of badly-painted 666 tattoos, every six months I’ll dance to the pulling of your strings and create a single panel cartoon just for you on– again– any damn subject you choose. Beetroots of the Millennium? Done. Sentient, kitten-abducting porridge? Done. One Nation candidates you’d most like to cuddle? What is it with you and this fascist obsession? Doesn’t matter: done! And not just a sketch, such as those you’ve been seeing during Thumbnail Thursday: these are fully drawn, fully-inked, completed cartoons.

To give you a little taster of what you can receive from 1 Feb 2018, here’s a couple of older, already-completed examples.


Baked Potato

On top of this,  you’ll get all the rewards received by Deinonychus, Troodon, and Velociraptor levels as well. That’s some decent booty for the price of… some sort… of coffee… that costs five bucks.

Check out the previously profiled levels:

To become a patron and receive all this (if I do say so myself) awesome stuff (although your One Nation fandom is more than a little disturbing), head on over to my Patreon site and sign up for your preferred reward. Patron rewards begin from 1 Feb 2018. While you’re there, download the free story you get just for saying hello.

Become a Patron!