THUMBNAIL THURSDAY ISN’T AFRAID TO BUGGER UP ANYBODY’S SUNDAY MORNING

I don’t know what God’s reaction would be if a couple of religious loons knocked him up first thing on a Sunday morning wanting to talk about how the adult son he can’t get out of the bloody house and into a real job is some sort of superman figure with the power to forgive humanity all of the evils it should have known better than to pull in the first place… but I’m guessing ‘smite’ figures large in the calculations.

“I’m guessing you won’t need a copy of The Watchtower, then.”

PFIZER 1 ACHIEVED

I am aware, as many of my friends in population-dense centres suffer through yet another round of lockdowns, that living in Karratha has brought with it benefits of distance and isolation. In all the time that COVID-19 has ravaged the world we have seen, maybe, two cases enter our hospital’s isolation ward, and even news of them counts more as rumour and speculation than fact.

That said, let me be clear: if you are anti-vax, you’re a moron. If you are anti-COVID-vax, you are a fucking cretinous moron with chips.

Even in far-flung, isolated Karratha, Luscious and I have found the time. Between walking through the door and leaving it took us 17 minutes, and 15 of those was the rest period after.

It’s not about you. It’s about those you’ll harm if you don’t.

Get it done.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: DOGMA

The parade of movies we have to introduce Lord 16 to before he leaves home doesn’t pause just because it’s the school holidays. Last night was Dogma, Kevin Smith’s funniest, most-professional, and best-made work from back when it was possible he might just remain an indie godling forever. In a film packed with quotes to lighten the heart of even the pickiest of quoters, this one stands out as the most deserving of elevation to a full life hack.

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY GOES CRETACEOUS ON YOUR ASS

Tyrannosaurus Rexs are funny. Okay, maybe not if you’re a ceratopsian, or if you’re stuck in a jeep with Jeff Goldblum’s sweaty chest, but for illustration purposes, anything with a giant, oversized head and teensy, tiny little arms is downright hilarious.

Look at how many Donald Trump cartoons there have been over the last five years.

So, yeah. Teensy tiny arms + activity that requires using teensy tiny arms = 70% of every tee shirt on Redbubble and comedy gold.

Here is some comedy gold. Unwrap it and enjoy the chocolate.

“Aww, but Mummmm…”
“I said no. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY WANTS ITS MADAGASCAR MONEY, DAMN IT!

All I’m saying is, Madagascar came out in 2005. I must have sketched this out no later than 1999, because I’d pretty much abandoned all hope of cartooning in favour of concentrating on writing by then (and look how well that didn’t turn out…).

I’m owed at least a fiver, and my law firm — Madeup, Daydream, and Delusion — agrees.

Also, note: some words just automatically make things funnier. ‘Fling’ is one of those words. Try it. You’ll see.

“Of course I’m aware of the Jungian notion that physical rebellion is an extension of psychological unhappiness, but mostly I just like to fling poo.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY PUTS THE HORSE IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK

All fictions are created equal, but some are more equal than others.

The Bible is far more equal to far too many people. Animal Farm is not equal enough. Let’s put them together, and let one point out the absurdity of the other, shall we?

Let’s be honest, if the only reason Man sits above the animals is because God said so, and God just destroyed the entire world under a deluge because Man fucked up so badly, and you’re now one of only two of your entire race shoved into a cramped, smelly, leaking boat with every other carnivore on the planet, wouldn’t you begin asking a question or two?

“Father, one of the pigs just said ‘Four legs good, two legs bad’…”

THURSDAY THUMBNAIL PLAYS WITH LOTTE, LOTTE PLAYS WITH JANE

Transposing childhood games onto adult pursuits is part of the starter-for-ten pack when it comes to cartooning, comedy, fandom, the arts, and my Lego obsession. Shut up, you’re not my Mum.

So here I am, doing it again.

Also, proof that editing exists: witness the insertion of ‘court marshall’ to make the joke more explicit, and witness the fact that I’d have to edit it again in the final draft because some dickheads can’t tell the difference between ‘marshall’ and ‘martial’. Past Lee: what a dildo.

“What do you mean, court marshall(sic)? I got their flag. We won.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY REVISITS MY CHILDHOOD NIGHTMARES

Or, as I’m now stuck teaching for the foreseeable future, perhaps it’s my adult nightmares. Either way, it’s the classic “turning up to school naked” dream made, uh, flesh, and let’s be honest, somebody better probably did it before me. Probably Bill Watterson. Yeah. Bet it was Watterson.

(Which is is good a time as any to remind you all that Thumbnail Thursday is a segment in which I upload old cartoons I sketched back in the days when I thought I might have a shot at being a cartoonist. We’re talking 25-odd years ago. Times change, tastes, change, and other people — actual actual cartoonists — have undoubtedly published the odd idea in the meantime off their own bat. Life happens.)

“It is not a dream, Mister Adams. It is also the third time this week.”

THERE’S A SPECIAL PLACE FOR THUMBNAIL THURSDAY

So, an explanation is required: that’s Lucifer in the middle, flanked by Hitler and Brutus. It’s Hell, and it’s the interview question from, quite literally, Hell. Because wocka wocka satire or something, and none of that is apparent from a thumbnail that is pretty damn crappy even by the low quality bar of my thumbnails to begin with.

“Tell me where you see yourself in five years.”

5 FOR FRIDAY: MARVEL TV PART TWO– TEAM TIME!

Last week, inspired by recent viewings of the new Marvel Disney+ TV offerings, I highlighted five Marvel characters who should have their own TV show.

This week, well, we’ve got the recent announcement of the shitty, diluted, Jack Kirby sleepwalking through a contract, pale Inhumans clone, The Eternals coming to the movies, and, well… look, I’m just going to say it: Hawkeye. Scarlet Witch. White Vision. Mockingbird. War Machine. Hank Pym. USAgent. Moon Knight’s coming in 2022….

Yeah. The West Coast Avengers are all in the MCU, and you heard it here first.

So, as a companion piece to last week’s set of individuals, let’s look at five teams who could make the MCorTVU a better place. Better than the frigging Eternals, anyway……

5 for Friday: A Better Pikarus than Ikarus.

Continue reading “5 FOR FRIDAY: MARVEL TV PART TWO– TEAM TIME!”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY COMPUTES FOR HILARITY

Another example of combining two obvious elements to try and create a third, a tactic I clearly resorted to regularly when I was trying to establish whether I could do this cartooning thing on an ongoing basis (Hint: I couldn’t).

Psychiatrist’s couch. Robot. Good job I didn;t go for anything really cliched, right?

“I just do whatever the voices in my head tell me to.”

5 FOR FRIDAY: MARVEL TV

So, the first thing that happened was that Lord 16 and I needed to get another free week of Disney + so we could watch season two of BucketHead and the Baby Lone Spacewolf and GreenCub The Mandalorian.

So, the second thing that happened was we realised we’d actually accidentally paid for a month so we’d better get our money’s worth.

Which is why we’ve spent the last couple of weeks mainlining WandaVision and Falcon & The Winter Soldier. Nothing can justify why I subsequently forced him to watch an entire episode of The Inhumans, other than I love the characters in the comic books, and I needed to see if it really is as bad as everyone said it is.

It is.

So having steeped ourselves in the current round of extended adverts for the next phase of bloated, self-indulgent big screen Marvel soap operas (which does both shows a disservice: F&WS is an excellent adventure romp, and WandaVision is an utterly extraordinary piece of television) — thoughts turn to who else should have themselves a groundbreaking TV show, and just who is left for the Marvel Execs to dig up, plug into a blender, and spit out. After all, we must be down to the J-grade guys by now, right?

Well, kind of, yeah. So, with a few ground rules below, here are five Marvel characters I think are prime candidates for inclusion into the MTVU.

5 for Friday: The Best of the Rest of the Rest of the Few Who are Left by the Rest

Continue reading “5 FOR FRIDAY: MARVEL TV”

GRAPHIC NOVEL MINI-REVIEWS: PLEASE LEASH YOUR BEAST

Yeah, I should be doing other things — hell, I should be blogging other things — but I’m on a run of graphic novel reading and my Mum’s dead so nobody can stop me.

Can you hear Luscious calling?

Anyway, never mind. Here’s five more graphic novels I’ve devoured over the last couple of weeks, encompassing the underrated, the excellent, the utterly brilliant… and Beast Boy.

Mileage varies, folks. Mileage really varies.

Continue reading “GRAPHIC NOVEL MINI-REVIEWS: PLEASE LEASH YOUR BEAST”