Pretty sure this is the same address our Principal gives the outgoing Year Twelves at their graduation ceremony.

This is what comes of spending your entire career dressing up teenage boys as girls…

Snakes, dogs, serpents, fawns…… what about the hedgehogs? Won’t someone think of the hedgehogs?

Short and sweet.

Short and sweet.

You don’t want that view. Nobody wants that view.

Typical, innit? A man vaunts ‘mongst his minions and he’s a stud, but a woman vaunts ‘mongst her minions…

I’ll smash your teef so far down yer froat you’ll need to stick a toofbrush up ya arse to brush ’em…

My knowledge isn’t a great heap! It’s a tiny heap! In fact it’s not even a heap at all!…… Uh…… wait……

Like sexual assaults, and corruption, and refugees, and women, right Crime Minister Scum?

Didn’t I date her at Uni?

Uh……. yeah!

Have you seen a better description of our venal, corrupt Crime Minister?

Why the Dutch, Will? What have you got against the Dutch?

It’s as if Will has actually met Scum the Crime Minister, or maybe this was just written about him by a woman…

Shakespeare did ‘your mother’ jokes.

Shakespeare. Did. ‘Your mother’. Jokes!

It’s like he knows me…

Wait. Is Will…… admitting…… to a taste…… for fet?

I feel personally called out.

I’m not burnt out, you’re burnt ou…. oh, no, wait. It’s me. I’m burnt out. I am so burnt out.

Will Shakespeare. Shake’s Spear. Get it? Get it? Fine. Write for 70s sitcons yourself, then.

There’s only one way to describe the combination of sweat, sneakers, unwashed hair and Lynx Africa, and this is it.