MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN OR MORE OTHER MOVIES YOU CAN CLEARLY REMEMBER WHILE WATCHING IT

So, yeah, we saw Shang-Chi, the 25th MCU movie — and second that didn’t feature the adventures of white guys fighting other white guys to solve white guy problems with money — last night, two months after everybody else in the world, which is par for the course around our parts. And, well, look: parts of it were fantastic. The dialogue is whip-smart. The acting is top-shelf. Awkwafina and Ben Kingsley steal all the shows. Michelle Yeoh. Enough fanwank to cause heart attacks in 30% of incels world wide. The single most relatable, understandable, antagonist in MCU movies. Michelle freaking Yeoh. And yet…

It’s too damn easy to count the bits of Black Panther, the bits of Doctor Strange, the bits of Batman Begins, bits of that Bond movie where he fights someone in a neon high-rise, bits of every other Marvel movie with no surprises, bits of Guardians of the Galaxy 2, there’s yet another climax where two giant bits of giant CGI fight each other… honestly, they’re all starting to feel the same, now. And it’s yet another Marvel movie that’s ultimately about shitty Dads causing shitty Dad daddy issues in kids that can only be resolved by spending billionaire dollars or punching Daddy really, really hard…. you know, like Howard Stark, Thanos, T’Chaka, Ego, David Banner, Odin, Adrian Toomes……

On the other, other hand, it’s quotable as fuck, so here’s a mixed movie quote that was amongst the easiest ever to create.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE WILL SEE YOU LATER, SPACE COWBOY

What with the live-action adaptation of the top-three-greatest-anime-shows-of-all-time Cowboy Bebop dropping on Netflix next month, and what with Luscious taking the girls out for a girly day out yesterday, I took the opportunity to sit down with Lord 16 and finally press play on the final piece of his Space Cowboy education: to watch the Cowboy Bebop: The Movie after loving our way through the 26 episodes we’d already watched together. (Him for the first time, me for the umpty-billionth and oneth).

Of course I love it, and of course he did too, and of course we’re going to be right there come November 19, and of course it remains on of the greatest anime shows, not to mention greatest space operas, ever committed to tape.

But, as is the way of all things, to watch is to mis-quote. So here we go with today’s Mixed Movie Quote. Let the good taste… uh… retire:

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: THE TEACHING FILM LOTTERY

One thing about teaching: being forced to a) teach film analysis to students who, for a variety of reasons, may have seen fewer than ten movies in their entire life, and b) choose films that conform to very strict rules regards purpose and rating, certainly results in watching movies you would never approach under any other circumstance.

Two cases in point.

First, the good: It was decided to teach our year eleven students horror movie this year, and the film that satisfied enough of the criteria to be chosen was the 2001 film The Others. I am about as far from a Nicole Kidman fan as it is possible to get — I find her cold, unconvincing, and so stagey I’m never unaware that she is dame-of-the-stage ahhhcting (a problem she shares with Judy Davis) — and yet, despite some shonky Kidmanesque moments (her pronunciation of ‘coh-TENS’ for ‘curtains’ raised a giggle every. damn. time.), the movie turned out to be an absolute masterpiece.

It was also, surprisingly, extremely teachable, even to a gaggle of boofhead boys who want nothing more than for this year to just shutup and go away so they can get on with the apprenticeships they’re just filling in time before taking up. Who’d have guessed? Not me.

On the flip side of the lottery, unfortunately, was case study two: the as bad as expected. In this case, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, a Disneybland assemblage of forced jokes, vapid life lessons, cliched everythings, and terminal eyerolls starring no fewer than four actors who make me want to run screaming from the cinema at even the mention of their names. The year eights I am teaching, of course, loved it, the treacherous little shits.

Ah, well. Can’t win them all.

So, two mixed movie quotes, and on the basis that the one for The Others pretty much chose itself, I’ve not remixed them with each other for once. In order of preference, The Others first:


And Jumanji: Welcome to the Executive Blandification.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: THE SUICIDE SQUAD

Shit me sideways with a bargepole, how has it been 2 goddamn months since I posted?

Well, because things have been a combination of hectic, tough, and shite, that’s how.

There will be a post to follow on that ‘lil subject during the week, but in the meantime, we hied ourselves off to the local cinema last night, where we partook of our usual treat of a movie everyone else saw two months ago. In this case, The Suicide Squad, which I’m glad to report is exactly the movie I’ve been collecting over 24 graphic novels and umpteen years.

So, a Mixed Movie Quote to celebrate seeing the movie I desperately hoped it would be, and bonus points for hopefully helping to ruin memories of a movie that doesn’t deserve to crouch in the street offering to drink the contents of a spittoon for a few coins.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: DOGMA

The parade of movies we have to introduce Lord 16 to before he leaves home doesn’t pause just because it’s the school holidays. Last night was Dogma, Kevin Smith’s funniest, most-professional, and best-made work from back when it was possible he might just remain an indie godling forever. In a film packed with quotes to lighten the heart of even the pickiest of quoters, this one stands out as the most deserving of elevation to a full life hack.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: SCARFACE

Another movie introduced to Lord 16 overnight, although for once, it’s a movie I haven’t seen myself: Scarface is one that’s consistently fallen through my cracks over the years– I was too young to see it at the cinema, still too young and then too poor in the days of the VCR, and by the time DVDs came along and I was living with a sustainable income, the world had moved on and so had I. But a JB Hifi sale, and our current habit of going down to Perth once a year to hoover everything off the shelves landed me a copy, and so what the hell.

Perhaps it was less, shall we say, typical of Brian De Palma’s Alfred Hitchcock with a Head Injury oeuvre-the-top stylings when it was released…

Either way, a movie is watched, a Mixed Movie Quote must follow.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTES: MYSTERIOUS BRAZILIANS

It’s a holiday of movie-watching, these school holidays. Over the first weekend, I’ve introduced Lord 16 to the joys of a genuine masterpiece, and a movie that I love far more than its quality requires, so you know, swings and abattoirs.

So here, for your repulsion and entertainment, are The Mystery Men of Friday, and the Brazil of Sunday, mixed up and quoted, but not with each other because I watched them on separate nights, and it’s my blog, and you’re not my Mum, so there.




MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: HAMLET’S DAY OFF

Where there are students, there must be a film unit. Where there is a film unit, there must be a film chosen by the teacher solely to give them something enjoyable to watch while they ignore the fact the little shits are doing anything except watching the damn movie.

To whit: this week, I’ve watched Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.

Twice.



MIXED MOVIE QUOTE DOUBLE FEATURE: THE USUAL DAYLIGHTS

Luscious is down in Perth again this weekend for a professional development workshop, so Lord 16 and I are engaging in our usual weekend-alone shenanigans, namely a bunch of boy movies interspersed with some kick-arse anime (currently Tokyo Ghoul).

So this weekend, it was The Living Daylights, the latest in our extended James Bond marathon, and The Usual Suspects, because somehow the boy has never seen it and he needs. To. KNOW. Taken together, they manage to combine into what may just be the greatest James Bond quote never said. Such is the synchronicity the Universe provides…




MIXED MOVIE QUOTE BOY’S LONG WEEKEND ALL-AUSSIE FILM FESTIVAL CIRCLE JERK

Prompted by Lord 16’s complaint about ATAR English film studies: “I’m so sick of watching Australian films. They’re always just a bunch of bogans getting drunk and ‘discovering national identity’…”, and the fact that Luscious was off in Perth for the weekend, leaving us with chips, and the DVD player, and cool drink, and honestly, what are you gonna do?…… it clearly behooved the former film student Dad to initiate the current film student boy — who can still say that despite having seen Dark City and all the Mad Max films — in the ways of Australian films that he hasn’t already seen that aren’t filmed through an orange filter…

To whit: The Cars That Ate Paris, the 2006 adaptation of Macbeth, and Undead. Because nobody should ever have to watch Lantana.





MIXED MOVIE QUOTES: THE PREDATOR

Starting the family-at-home movie year with a fun family favourite, which prompted us to discuss the similarities between the Predator and Terminator franchises: one classic original starring Arnold Schwarzenegger; one reasonably good sequel (this, and T2); and absolutely rivers of shite surrounding them…

Anyway, this is a movie chock-full of quotable quotes, as well as plenty of opportunity to play a take-a-shot-whenever-Adrien-Brody-can’t-maintain-his-stupid-voice drinking game, but there’s only one real quote for a Mixed Movie Quotes quote:

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: THE EXORCIST

The first mixed movie quote for the year, and it’s a classic horror movie Lord 16 has been nagging us relentlessly since the age of twelve to watch. The Exorcist isn’t particularly scary anymore — after fifty years of imitations, homages, rip-offs, and downright immersion in the cultural zeitgeist, it’s still brilliant enough to be disquieting, and disturbing, but the sheer terror I underwent when watching it for the first time at age fourteen has gone.

So, because I am a loving and supportive father who wants my son to experience all the wonders and emotional highs I’ve gone through, I’ve set this quote to a movie I know gives him the creeping abdabs…… because that’s what love is.

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE DOUBLE FEATURE: ‘TENET’ AND ‘BILL AND TED FACE THE MUSIC’

Two movies viewed in two days, and both linked by a common attribute: the playing about with, subverting, and otherwise playfully bruising of, time.

Honestly, it was almost impossible to find quotes and images that could be swapped for comic effect. Instead, the fun has to come from seeing such perfectly complementary swaps come from two movies that couldn’t be much further apart on the dramatic, ambition, and noteworthiness scales.

Excelleeeent!

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE DOUBLE FEATURE: FLETCH AND LA CONFIDENTIAL.

Last night, Luscious and I had the opportunity to lie back in bed and watch a couple of movies without catering for Lord 15. We took a double trip back to simpler times, with Chevy Chase’s least mediocre effort Fletch, and the always-superb adaptation of one of my favourite authors’ best works, LA Confidential.

It’s Mixed Movie Quote manna from… well, somewhere in Los Angeles, I suppose.

 

Fletch

 

LA Confidential

MIXED MOVIE QUOTES: RUNTS PRETENDING TO BE SUPERHEROES EDITION

It’s the last week of a long semester. I’m running on fumes, my students are running on fumes, the whole world seems like it’s running on fumes. So you know what? Screw it. Let’s power down, put a couple of movies on, and recharge our batteries. Ain’t nothing we can do in this week we can’t do in the first week of term three.

One of my Year Ten classes is watching Red, but I’ve done that one. The other is watching Mission Impossible: Holy Shit, I Can’t Believe This Pile of Crap Is Supposed To Be The Good One. And my Year Nines are watching Shazam.

So, as per my usual rules, here we are: A Mixed Movie Quote Cage Match. Shazam v Fallout.

I’ll be grown-up later.

 

fallout

 

 

Shazam

MIXED MOVIE QUOTE: THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE

It’s been a long time since I’ve managed to sit in front of the blog. Hopefully that will change in coming days, when we’re facing a teaching semester without COVID, cyclones, and all the other things that have turned the first half of this year into a rolling ball of liquid shite.

In the meantime, I was overcome by the medical necessity to see The Emperor’s New Groove again tonight. By the Gods, it’s still an absolutely wonderful, brilliant movie — I’d argue with anyone that it rivals Aladdin as the best thing Disney has ever done. And the Mixed Movie Quote proved so very easy…

 

Emperor's New Groove