Of all the delightful traditions that Americans have introduced to the world– turning up late for wars; gunning down their own children for the crime of going to school; friendly fire– teaching your kids that you can go door to door in disguise, demanding gifts to ward off the physical destruction of your home is surely one of the quaintest.
It only takes one evil genius with a taste of chocolate and an understanding of the classics……
“Granted, Madam. Physically, he is nothing like a child. Still, I’d recommend giving him
all your candy, unless you want him to throw that lovely daughter of yours into
the nearest lake.”
To say I have never enjoyed working in the various levels of Government service to which I was sentenced is an understatement. In a quarter of century, I found less than half a dozen colleagues with whom I wished to have any contact outside of the workplace, and countless hundreds I would welcome alien abduction in order to avoid acknowledging them in the street.
Let’s be honest: this cartoon isn’t funny. It’s just true.
“I think you underestimate my achievement in refraining
from gunning you all down like dogs.”
Vampires are comedy gold, for one very good reason: vampires are stupid. Not the legends and folklore that lie at the heart of the vampire– many of them are truly fascinating, and far more entertaining than the versions we see today. What I’m referring to is the Westernised, post-Lugosi, bowdlerised version with which Hollywood and teen romances burden us on a regular basis.
If it sparkles, burn it with fire.
“I just have one of those metabolisms– I can eat and eat, and never put any weight on.”
As previously discussed, weddings and marriage are comedic base-level subjects. And when it comes to SF, aliens and alien abductions are pretty much the humour versions of opening your eyes and stretching first thing in the morning, too.
So, naturally, I put them together. because if there’s one thing my cartooning career was a celebration of, it was laziness and simple ideas. Mind you, I actually find this one funny, so what does that say about me?
“He wants to call off the abduction!”
So, yeah. Satire is, apparently, not my strong suit. This one pretty much eschews being funny for making a statement of truth.
The difference between Erich Von Daniken and Scientology.
This is such an old, cheesy joke. I’m embarrassed that I even went there. Except: the hedgehog on the left is properly adorable. I doubt I’d been able to replicate that look if I had ever tried to draw this up properly.
Adorable, I tells ya!
“Can’t we just hug?”
Weddings and marriage are the comedic equivalent of the starter-for-ten. It’s entry level stuff, fit only for shite American sitcoms and the laziest of stand up comedians playing to the lowest common denominator audiences.
So, here’s one of many I did when I was busier flexing my ability to come up with ideas quickly than exercising my internal editor. Regrets, I have a few… (although, weirdly, the fact that the bride looks like a frog had sex with a muppet is not amongst them)
“What do you mean, ‘What are the options?’ ?”