THUMBNAIL THURSDAY DIPS INTO THE SHALLOW WELL AGAIN

Somewhere there should be a law banning the use of these Russian dolls in comedy, shouldn’t there?

And combining one with the good old psychiatrist stereotype? What comedic genius came up with that sizzler?

Oh, yeah. The one not currently experiencing a career in comedy or cartooning.

I can’t promise Chris Lilley isn’t planning something. But only if he can do it in blackface.

“I just feel like I have all these personalities inside of me, fighting to get out.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME

Whaaaaat? Big game hunting and domestic violence? What’s not to love?

Yeah, so this comes across like a 4Chan community production of Rebecca. It seemed funny many years ago, when I was a much simpler creature, and self-awareness was just an entry in the dictionary. In the interests of completeness, here it is. But yeah, it’s not a joke I’d make today.

“Oh, that? That’s the first Mrs Aldenheimer.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY DOESN’T MISS THE WANKERS

Ten years of working in arts administration, and oh gods, how many of these types did I come across.

Pro tip: if you dress like you think an artist dresses, talk like you think an artist talks, and patronise like you think an artist patronises, you still ain’t an artist. And if your job is to distribute money to artists, and you earn more from it than they do, then go fuck yourself. (Looking at you, pretty much the entirety of the Australian arts funding structure).

“Artist? Oh darling, where’s the money in that? I’m in arts funding.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY WOULD PROBABLY MATE WITH A DALEK, JUST SAYING.

Look, I love archaeology and I love paleontology just as much as the next guy… provided the next guy is actually and archaeologist, or paleontologist, or eight year old boy. But we can all agree that a whole lot of the art involves creating a narrative, and that involves what can best be scientifically termed as, well, you know…… guesswork.

Still beats being a teacher, though.

“We’ve yet to establish the reason for this long, quite flimsy horn, but we assume it was important for display during mating season.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY HAS A STUNNING WORK ETHIC

Okay, I remember exactly the scenario behind this one. Way back in the day, I worked for the Commonwealth Employment Service — the Government’s job search provider, before they privatised it and sent the whole system to utter shit. I was banished to a small job centre in Armadale, at the unpopular end of one of the train lines, to sit on the front counter and hopefully die as quietly as possible without making any sort of fuss.

Which I did. Online comics for 8 hours a day, spoiled only by the fewer than half a dozen poor jobless who hadn’t yet worked out that they’d get much better service, and many more jobs, if they went a stop or two up the line.

Nobody cared. Nobody noticed. And nobody in that particular office was under any illusion that they weren’t just marking time until the next thing came along. Which it duly did: the destruction of the CES, and reassignment to the absolute hellish landscape of the Child Support Agency, from which I never really recovered. But 8 hours a day of webcomics was pretty damn good 😉

Oh, and for those of you aged under thirty. That’s a computer monitor. That’s what shape they used to be. More or less.

“Damn. I always run out of comics before I run out of day.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY SAYS POACH THE POACHERS. AND MY EGGS.

There’s a very simple solution to stopping big game hunters, you know.

Put a bounty on them.

Money for villagers who might otherwise be tempted by fees to act as guides, limiting access to local knowledge and preserving the natural heritage, skills, and financial independence of the indigenous population. Plus, how many smug white dentist’s heads from middle America mounted on hotel walls do you think it would take before the whole industry just withered away and died?

Exactly.

You’re welcome.

“If I’d known it was harmless, I’d have killed it myself.”

THUMBNAIL THURSDAY PEGS DEATH ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS

One of those inviolate rules of comedy: death is funny, dying is pain.

Death is doubly funny when you anthropomorphise it and give it a range of normal human habits. Like marrying, and dinking cocktails. To whit: ta-daaaaaaa.

“You’d think that, but he’s actually quite a warm and gentle lover.”

Bonus points for anyone willing to share what they actually do think about Death’s performance as a sexual partner……