Seeing things that aren’t really there. A common human occurrence, which I’m sure has no basis in the fact that we are all weaselly little malcontencts with ideas above our station who have been raised on a diet of Disney bullshit abduction fantasies.
None of you are princesses. None of you.
Anyway, here’s a cartoon about seeing things that aren’t there. Or is it? (Bum bum BUUUUUMMMMM!)
Yeah, it is.
“Well, I can see a kitten, and a choo-choo train, and the glorious Gluznunbian War
Fleet come to visit ruination and enslavement on your entire miserable planet…”
Meetings are for people who can’t do things via email. My last workplace was especially fond of them, to the point of non-ironically holding meetings to decide how future meetings would be held. And, of course, as anyone who has ever been subjected to these bullshit reacharound-a-ramas will tell you, if you really want to be miserable in your job, be the guy who misses the vote they inevitably hold the first time you decide it’s all a load of bullshit and decide to wander in late because nothing ever gets decided at these damn things anyway, amirite?……
“Ah, Judas. Come in. I’m afraid you missed the start of the meeting. We took
a vote on who should betray Jesus…”
I’m going to assume there was a reason I was so obsessed with making jokes about telemarketing calls when I was a younger man. Just because I can’t, for the life of me, work out what it was now doesn’t mean I didn’t have one then.
I’ll admit that someone discussing their long-distance provider while standing on the moon has a momentary smile factor, but every neophyte science fiction writer knows that nothing dates your work like references to current technology. This has been your salutatory lesson.
“That’s one small step for man, one… sorry… who are you?… Yes, I’m happy with my long distance provider…”
It is the arrogance of your typical religious type to believe that, if there is any form of omnipotent being, and any type of afterlife created by that being, that the typical religious type flapping his or her gums somehow gets some sort of choice in defining the type of afterlife to which they are sentenced.
All of which is a complete aside to the bitching job I did sketching Hades’ pecs. Just saying, in case he tunes in, but I made him look ripped.
“Would someone please persuade Mister Perkins to give in to the inevitable?”
Relationships are the grist upon which almost all artists mill. And relationships breakups, while they can be tragic, can also be the funniest part of the whole thing– for an outsider. Anthropomorphic relationship breakdowns? Well, that stuff just writes itself.
Also, I have no idea why I have so much trouble drawing humans, hands, cars, buildings, trees and straight lines, but I somehow managed to do a fairly decent job of a bipedal star-nosed mole with its arms crossed getting the hump with its soon-to-be-ex partner. Go figure.
“See other people? We can barely see ourselves!”
This cartoon only works if you know that:
- voodoo is a thing that many people believe
- that figure clutching its heart and dying outside the doorway is a donkey.
And yes: in my world, donkeys don’t have ears. Shut up.
In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I have no nostalgia for crap children’s TV shows.
Also, I’ve no idea why I started drawing a dolphin.
Whatever Happened To?– Number 37: Skippy.