- We’ve seen another house, so back to bloomin’ Mandurah again today!
- Have put an offer on a house and had it accepted. All that remains is to start shitting ourselves while waiting for bank approval.
- Have chosen my AHWA mentees. Let the senseless torture of innocent aspiring writers begin!
- Should be in bed- to work early tomorrow. But I’m too awake, slightly scared by the finances to come. Wish I knew how best to proceed
- A day of shattered tiredness thanks to non-sleepy squirmin’ child. Please let tonight be better.
- @eugiefoster Zombies. Zombies go up like dry tinder.
- Head to the left, galley to the right, weird shit off the port bow.
Category twitter
A SHORT SHORT SHORT FOR YOUR EDIFICATION
One of the funninest sites to hop on to the Twitter bandwagon is a little thing called Thaumatrope, that publishes short stories of less than 140 characters in length. I’ve sold them a couple of stories– it’s funny how the possibility of money can turn what used to be random thoughts into a paying story idea– here’s my story they published for Valentine’s Day, for example:
They loved each other, and so gave freely of themselves. For her, his heart, in a velvet-lined box. In return, her face, tied with a bow.
If you have a twitter account, follow them: the likes of Mary Robinette Kowal, Alathea Kontis and Greg van Eekhout have contributed, and it’s a nice feeling to get some fiction in amongst the notices that Bill Bloggs has woken up and is about to go to the toilet.
Anyway, the reason I mention all this is that they’re closed to submissions, and I can’t be bothered waiting until they re-open to loose yesterday’s random idea onto the world. So have 140 words of free Battfiction, on me:
The drowned child returned. In her embrace he found an absolution missing for thirty years. When she returned to the lake, she was not alone
As you were.
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- It probably makes me a bad person, but I don’t care that another mag that never replied to subs and was too hard to work with has karked it
- It’s taken far too long, but ‘Corpse-Rat King’ has *finally* moved past 75000 words.
- A good work-ethic at lunch has resulted in the 1st 1500 word day in ages.
- There are times I wish I was so young again, that all my day’s worries could be laid to rest with one snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug
- Yup, zackly. It’ll probably be replaced by a wrestling mag, as was its predecessor
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- Crap, it’s morning. Lunch with stepdaughter today, plus editing novel so I can show agent I haven’t just been avoiding her for last 6 months
- There’s a fine but significant, difference between “secret cross-dressing Nazi” and “secret Nazi cross-dresser”
- Number of times my wife will tolerate me answering a “Where did the (thing) go?” question with “Silicone Heaven?”– once.
- Lessons my 4 year old has just learned- don’t blame things on the 7 year old when she’s been at her Nanna’s house since Friday.
- Best way to stop the 4 year old chucking a paddy because he wants to drink the vinegar? Let him 🙂
- “Would you like some more?” ……………………………………………………. (little voice) “No fanks you” :))))
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- 2009 has started with my son pooing his bed. As omens go, this is not the *best* one I’ve ever had.
- 2009 goal weight: 90kg, 2009 starting weight: 102.1kg. For those of you who work in pounds and ounces, that translates as “fucking fat”.
- Chest 115cm, Waist 111cm, Right bicep 37cm, Right thigh 63cm. Another measurment in a month or so, see what changes I can make.
- Goddammit, 2009 is too hot.
- So did anyone notice the extra second today? Blew my whole day out of whack…
- Restless, unsatisfied, itching to do something meaningful. Good place to be as an artist right now, but makes me a shit for anything else.
- started a new review tweet because 140 characters is enough to describe whatever I’m watching/reading: twitter.com/review140
- @seanlindsay Technically, the second was actually a second of no-time in between the days. That’s where the Daleks were hiding all along…
- review140 First up, the Big Lebowski, which I watched tonight with Lyn and Aiden
- @seanlindsay I’m always wrong first. It’s only later, when everybody is correct, that I join the herd 🙂
- @Nnedi Bouncing is what Tiggers do best #
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- Agh: remember when ‘Snap Crackle Pop’ described your breakfast cereal and not your back?
- Forest 3-2 Norwich, and we’re out of the bottom three for the first time this season. You beautiful Reds!
- So that would be *my* 4yo wandering round the house, snapping bubble wrap and shouting “Who done a popoff?” every time it pops.
- No better way to spend a summer holiday afternoon than down the pool with the kids. All hail the inventor of the water slide!
- What’s the point of sending me all those emails promising me a larger erection when I’m taking anti-inflammatories?
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- There is nobody as inconsolable as a 4 year old boy who has lost his new Ben 10 thongs he got for Christmas
- 2009 has started and I’ve already clocked my first gym session of the year, Don’t you all feel bad for waiting until Jan 1st to catch up?
- Also: ouch, my everything hurts.
- @matociquala It’s okay: Russell Davies will be gone very soon, and then Dr Who can go back to being not shit for a while.
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- 2009 starts tomorrow*. You have been notified (*- for me, anyway. Y’all can start whenever you’re ready, but I need to get back to work)
- I shall join the list of twitter announcements and let you all know that Gardner Dozois has bought sweet fuck all from me for anything 🙂
- A whole extra second has been added to 2008! Now I have time to be interested in Adam Sandler movies! www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28392450/
- So tonight it’s be KFC and BSG. Put ’em all together and what have you got? KFCBSG…..
- So that’s my last fast food for the foreseeable future eaten. Now I shall drink my last beer. Yes, I have taken my anti-inflammatories….
- Am I the only one who thinks ‘The Yes Man’ just looks like a not-particulalry-original revamp of ‘Liar Liar’?
- @seanlindsay It can be done– Shadow of The Vampire is a highly original revamp/re-imagining, but this sure doesn’t look like one
- They look like us, they act like us, some have been programmed to think they are human… Cylons are Liberal Party volunteers, man!
- @seanlindsay The problem with fickle minxes is knowing what to feed them…
- Got me a Twitter Grade of 79/100 from @grader. See: twitter.grader.com/leebattersby. I’m ranked 95,930 out of 788,106
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- Forest 2- 4 Doncaster, and our manager sacked!! What a fucking disaster.
- Family is not a matter of blood– family is the village you build around yourself with ties more important than any accident of genes
- Which is to say: we had a wonderful family occasion today, with the family that we have created between us, no matter where they started
- Somebody. Please. Kill Noel Fielding. That’s all I ask.
- Frankie Howerd- Rather You Than Me. David Walliams as Frankie. Heartbreakingly sad docudrama
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- Christmas Day + gout = the innate understanding that I am now a teetotaller.
- Help me: I’m waist deep in a pile of Disney Princess dolls, Wii games, guitars, omnitrixes, twist ties and wrapping paper, and I can’t move!
- The Colbert Xmas Special: Willie Nelson singing about the 4th Wise Man giving a gift of dope to the baby Jesus– comic fucking GENIUS
- Boxing Day: traditionally when Masters rewarded servants. We gave the kids their presents today. Coincidence?
- Half time, Man U/Stoke nil-all, me listing what I’m unsatisfied with in my life and want to change: 45001 unsatisfied people in my house
- Short version: too fat, too unfit, too not-novelist, too poor, too shoddy house, too crap gardens. Action plan seems somewhat obvious…
- On the other hand, you all look great! Especially you.
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- Well *that* didn’t pan out- back home from work because of pain. Wireless connection and my bed for the rest of the day
- @matociquala You know, male character default number of testicles is two. Just saying…. 🙂
- Quantum of Solace: a series of explosions that once met a plot at a party but can’t quite remember its name.
- Corpse-Rat King has passed 70 000 words and is now encouraging me to get back to writing every day instead of being such a slack-arse
- Off to have a blood test now. I know I have some, I just need to find out if it can pass a test.
- How to get a path nurse to like you– offer referral, say “Hi, my doctor gave me this gift certificate…”
- Blood test over: I got a 72.
- @thesciphishow Never underestimate the value of a good freak show 🙂
- Crisps, alcoholic ginger beer, BSG box set, the boys, and my beautiful wife. The evening, she is booked.
- Just for the record #1- my wife is the Queen of roast dinners
- Just for the record #2- Galacticapalooza does *not* roll easily off the tongue
- @jstrahan Capricalooza!
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- Sick day two. Swollen ankle day two and a bit. Two episodes of Top Gear saved on Foxtel IQ. Morning would appear to be taken care of.
- New couch arriving this morning, just in time for me to lie on it all day.
- Have to go to hospital for an ultrasound on my ankle in case I have blood clots. Looks like another day off work at least.
- Ultrasound shows no blood clots. Which means I probably have gout. At 38…………………………. shit.
- @thesciphishow Haven’t tried Frisky Dingo, but love the others, as well as The Brak Show and Aqua Teen Hunger Force (though the movie stank)
- @thesciphishow The all-time best, though, is The Venture Brothers. Go Team Venture!
- Sitting in a cafe, waiting to go in and watch ‘Four Holidays’, wondering if we’re about to make a horrible mistake
- ‘Four Holidays’ not a *complete* mistake, but I could have waited until it was on weekly hire and not felt ripped off at paying $1.95 for it
- One publishing house following another’s tweets? Could that be the world’s crappest industrial espionage? 🙂
- TV taglines I want to hear: “The 21st century is when everything changes. Except for you. Sorry.”
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A couple of days worth, in lieu of actual content (Tomorrow, my dears, tomorrow)
- Perception is nine-tenths of the law
- Meet for lunch to discuss work, end up deciding to redecorate the entire house. It’s another day with Lyn and Lee!
- @seanlindsay My hero was getting attacked by a dead guy wielding a hoe with intent. It was his only option 🙂
- One is quite capable of ignoring one’s inner fanboy until one reads the sentence “Stan Lee has accepted your friend request”
- Greg Proops, but then, don’t we all?
- Sentences you really want to hear from your wife at age 38– “Maybe your kness hurt so much because you have gout”
- Sinead O’Connor singing “She Moved Through The Fair”. Oh God, my heart is breaking.
- And then I read the first line of page 269 of ‘Choke’, and that’s when I began to laugh my arse off.
- @drewbeatty Actually, we *all* dislike your neighbours. Somebody really should tell them.
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- 13:01 Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter Erin, who turns seven today
- 13:02 There’s so much tinsel hanging over my desk it’s like sitting inside one of Michael Jackson’s jackets.
- 13:06 Finally have the same number of followers as following. Curse those high school years for my sad, needy ways of measuring popularity
- 19:03 @jelundberg I’d just be in a land of awesome at having gas-powered trees!
- 19:41 Why don’t my tabs disappear back up into the top of the monitor all of a sudden? FUCK I hate computers!
- 19:55 Gingko and St John’s Wort– best stress remedy we’ve found, as reminded to me by my darling wife with instructions to take some right now
- 19:58 My wife has no idea that Dog Soldiers isn’t going to be as twee and comfy as An American Werewolf in London and The Howling…
- 20:00 So it’s official? I’m the only being in the Universe who thinks Patterson Joseph will make a shit Doctor?
- 20:03 @garykemble Oh yes, my vibes have performed for the Queen! Of course, they were arrested, but…. they are yours to do with as you will.
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09:10 I am the Emperor of home-made ginger and apricot biscuits. Yum!
09:14 @thesciphishow Fantastic news! Great to see Sci Phi Journal kicking on! Best of luck with the new issue.
12:54 Ah, the joys of youth, when ‘gourmet eating’ meant getting chips with your spaghetto bolognaise…
12:54 Here’s a hint for aspiring novelists– when ordering lunch, make sure it’s something you can eat with one hand
12:55 my Twitterank is 4.41! twitterank.com/?u=leebattersby@gmail.com
19:10 The Corpse-Rat King has passed 43 000 words
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- 07:51 38 years old today, and I don’t feel a day over 90
- 13:33 Just so you know, it is entirely possible that Madness’ 1996 album “Wonderful” is the greatest pop album in the history of the entire world
- 13:34 Of course, we all know that Brian May is the greatest guitarist who has ever lived, so that goes without saying
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Lee Battersby 